I know

I know that you're not leaving me behind. But it still feels that way. I miss you so much. Long distance seriously sucks. =/ It's really hard not having you around, i feel that you are moving on to new things, even though that's the case in some ways, i know its not the case for our relationship but it just feels like we don't have time for one another, like we do but then we don't. We have to squeeze in time wherever we can. I miss summer and just being with you. I don't want to lose you.

"Love."

Love, isn't just a word you can just go throw around.
You have to actually understand the true meaning of it and feel it within you.
You have to actually know the person before you can say you love/ed them.
You didn't know that person.
You didn't love that person.
You "think" or "thought" you did.
But you didn't.

It really hit me hard today.

That life can change at any given moment.

So make a positive impact on people's lifes. Never be afraid to just go for what you want. Love with all that you have.

You never know when everything you got will be taken away from you.

Dear God,

For the past two years it seems like you have been absent in my life. There have been amazing times where i think to myself, wow God is truly great and good. Last year, my Kuya Felbin was taken from my family because of something we don't even understand today. Now today.. my Ate and Manong are gone too. I won't be able to see them around and at family reunions. Janelle is in critical condition. God, please please PLEASE pull her through. I love her so much. She is very important to me, she is part of my family. She needs to have a full life. She needs to go on and do great things. God, all i ask is that she comes home healthy and safely. I love you God and i reallllllly need you right now. Please keep all of my family safe. I'll be praying to you.

-Alexa

i seriously

believe that my life couldn't get any better.

Weeellll.... actually. If we didn't have Stone or Profe, then yeah it would.

NYC

Dear NYC, Can't wait to see you next month! Woooo!

1. This week will be fun =]
2. Glad to be home
3. Not glad to be back at school.
4. Glad to see you!
5. Glad to see you!

very tired.

Campout was fun.
Tour will be even more amazing.

Can't wait.

1. We'll work through this.
2. I'm gonna miss youu =/ Movie when i get back. =)
3. So sketchy

youuuuuuu.

are too amazing.
Glad that we're together. =]

Alexa

is one happy girl.

Everday.

I pretty much fall more and more.

Yum.

"Be a first-rate version of yourself,

Not a second-rate version of someone else."

-Judy Garland.

I wanna make this =] Strawberry Tiramisu. YUM.

...

You basically just left .. and i already miss you. =/

Hmm.

1. Tonight was alot of fun.
2. Tomorrow will be amazing too.
3. I want to ask you something, i'll do that soon.
4. You don't have to hesistate, if you get what i mean. haha
5. Thank you for being you.

It Doesn't Matter.

It doesn't matter where we are.
It doesn't matter when we're together.
It doesn't matter what we are doing.
It doesn't matter how much time we have.

As long as we're together, that's what matters.

Did you know that you mean alot to me?

=] Well i'm glad you know now.

Girls are like

apples on trees. The best

ones are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach for

the good ones because they are afraid

of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they

just get the rotten apples from the ground

that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples

at the top think that something is wrong with

them, when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right

boy to come along, the one

who's brave enough

to climb

all the way

to the top

of the tree.

I've come to realize

1. I've come to realize that my chest-size...
Is just fine. haha

2. I've come to realize that my job...
Is a job and that i need to work more.

3. I've come to realize that when I'm driving...
I tend to drive fayst or slow depending on my mood at the moment.

4. I've come to realize that I need....
To work harder.

5. I've come to realize that I have lost...
Alot of friendships.

6. I've come to realize that I hate it when...
I don't say things that should be said right away.

7. I've come to realize that if I'm drunk...
I do really stupid things.

8. I've come to realize that money...
Really isn't everything and it can't buy you happiness
because it will always leave you wanting more.

9. I've come to realize that certain people...
Will be there for me no matter what and others will
just walk right out the door.

10. I've come to realize that I'll always ...
Procrastinate like a bitch.

11. I've come to realize that my family...
Is very very important to me.


12. I've come to realize that my mom...
Does so much for me and needs to be appreciated more.

13. I've come to realize that my cell phone...
Is basically a neccessity.

14. I've come to realize that when I woke up this morning...
I was actually excited for school.

15. I've come to realize that last night before I went to sleep...
So many things run through my mind.

16. I've come to realize that right now I am thinking...
About things that need to be done.

17. I've come to realize that my dad....
Is a silly man.

18. I've come to realize that when I get on Facebook...
I need to sign off right away.

19. I've come to realize that today...
Was an amazing day that i need to have more often.

20. I've come to realize that tonight...
Will be relaxing.

21. I've come to realize that tomorrow...
Will be amazing.

22. I've come to realize that I really want to...
Get back my summer body.

23. I've come to realize that the people who care about me the most are...
Still in my life.

24. I've come to realize that life...
Goes by so fast.

25. I've come to realize that this weekend...
Will be sweeeet.

26. I've realized the best music to listen to when I am upset...
Is Relient K


27. I've come to realize that my friends...
Are pretty great.

28. I've come to realize that this year...
Has made me grow up and be more mature.

29. I've come to realize that my ex...
And i should be friends.

30. I've come to realize that maybe I should...
Actually get up and do what i'm supposed to do.

31. I've come to realize that I love...
Fashion. Friday Nights. Summer. Volleyball. Lakers. etc etc etc.

32. I've come to realize that I don't understand...
Guys.

33. I've come to realize my past...
Made me who i am today. I don't regret anything.

34. I've come to realize that parties...
Need to happen more often.

35. I've come to realize that I'm totally terrified...
Of not being successful.

36. I've come to realize that my life...
Is flying past me so fast and that i need to make a difference.

today.

Today was a pretty great day.

• Seeing you first thing in the morning is always a great start to my day.
• Driving fayst to Starbucks during homeroom with the bfff.
• Lunch with youuu.
• Go Bananza which was pretttty good actually. Butterfingers > what you got. LOL jk.
• Laughing hysterically in 7th period with bfff.
• After school, just chillin, talking bout random stuff with you, doing homework.
• Just being with you.

Hello You.

I know you're reading this =] Thank you for a great day. Actually, thanks for a great month. haha. Can't wait for tomorrow and saturday? It will be fun as always. You are too amazing.

-akf.

P.S. I'm gonna buy you that car/truck. :P

you.

There are not enough words in the dictionary to describe you.

"But the great thing about the heart is that it has no master, despite what reason may think."

its funny

• Whenever i'm not talking to you. i think bout you constantly.
• I keep thinking bout August already and how thats gonna suck Dave.
• I hate not talking to you for like 4 hours straight cause your playing.
• I hate that you get to go home early cause that means i don't get to see you anymore.
• I get excited about the next day and seeing you.
• I feel 100% comfortable around you.
• You made me realize how i should be treated and what I really deserve.
• Thank you.

schooool

is such a drag. =/

fridaaaaayyy.

friday is gonna be suuhhweeet.

thenn SATURDAY! YESSSS

partypartypartypartypartyparty!

thoughts.

1. i think i'm gonna go with tunnel 2. Tunnel two, won't break my heart like you.
2. Duuuude, i just need space. Stop riding my back. I just wanna hang with Jane. Some days i'm just not feelin like talkin, you needa learn to just step back.
3. I love you despite our differences at times, thank you mom and dad.
4. Can't wait til this weekend!
5. You've been makin' me smile alot lately, thank you.
6. Sarah, thanks for showing me Airplanes. I really like it.
7. I keep thinkin' bout you, but then i think about all the things that you've done to me.. then the thought of you just washes away and disappears.. kind of like how you act sometimes to me..

Here's my list..
1. New music is a win win win.
2. Lemon Bars, wooo.
3. Friends.
4. Adventures.
5. You.

I have gotten into any trouble in a little over a year.. i'm so proud of myself :)

toomanygoodsongs.

Memories

Airplanes

Pursuit of Happiness Remix

Rude Boy

Nothin On You.

yes.

week of prayer = sleep.

friday = anticipation all week.

saturday = party!!!!!!

2

There are two tunnels, but I can only choose from one.

Do I take the tunnel that leads me to uncertainty? To a place that could be potentionally amazing. Somewhere that I have only dreamed of before. The perfect place I have always imagined it to be. The tunnel would be an adventure, fun and spontaneous. The path I constantly think about and can't decide whether or not I should travel down because I would have to work hard to make it to my destination?

OR

Do I take the tunnel that leads me to safety. A place that I am comfortable in. A place of leisure and ease. A place that could be amazing. A place where I am confident in. A place where I know what is going to happen at all times. The tunnel doesn't leave me guessing because I know the road, how far it takes to get there, the shortcuts, the traffic signs, everthing. The path I have been thinking about lately on whether or not I should travel down because I wouldn't have to work for it this time. My destination would just come to me.

I've been traveling down path one for

quite some time now, maybe its time now

that I pull over to the side and use my GPS

to help me find an easier route.

1. I wish you would've followed through. Instead

of saying things that kept me holding on.

done with labs for the entire year.

1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you... i love you.

1. Sometimes when i think about you, it makes me sad. It makes me sad because it makes me realize that we've drifted apart. Things used to be so carefree, effortless, and fun. Now it seems like i have to work for the time i get to spend with you. I miss how things were so easy with us. We were so close. Whenever people asked me who my best friends were, you were always at the top of my list, because you are you. You know me more than any one else, besides Jane and Sarah. It just seems like things have changed between us. Something is either missing or wasn't fulfilled. I miss you in my life. I'm gonna be sad when you have to leave. I didn't/don't want to say anything because i don't want to lose you even more than i am already. I can't let you fully go and i will never be able to let you go. You have a part of me that will always belong to you. Please come back. I miss you.

2. I don't know what i would do without you. When i think about when we're apart or when you can't do something, it makes me sad. I love being around you all the time. I can never get tired of you. You know me so well, its nice to know someone truly understands me because they feel the same way. I would do anything for you. I would go to the ends of the earth just to make you happy. Thank you for everything that you do for me. I will NEVER let anything get inbetween our friendship, EVER. You are so important to me. You are my best friend and my sister that i never had. Fck needing to have a guy, you are my other half. Thank you for putting up with my meaness and mood swings. I am really sorry bout that! I don't know why i lash out sometimes, i just can only take so much of school, home and pressure in general. I hope you know i really love you. I'm seriously lost without you beside me. I need you in my life. So please never leave me.

3. My room is pretty lonely at night. I don't have anyone to talk to. No one at night to share stuff with or tell stories to. I miss you alot. I can't wait til summer when you come back down. I hope you stay here. I know going back home is important to you and that you are much needed there but it would be real nice to have you here as well. I love you so much. I miss you everyday. Hope you are doing well. I pray for you and i love you.

4. Thank God that i met you. What would i do without you? I can take the screaming so don't worry about it. Just wait, i'll probably break sometime soon and i'll scream too. Sorry if i scream at you, don't take it to offense. You are my twin brother. You know everything about me. You are so observant, you help me learn things about myself that i never even thought about before. I really thank you for that. You mean ALOT to me. Thank you for understanding me and for putting up with me. Thank you for sharing a guys point of view with me, its always good to know both sides about stuff. Thank you for giving me advice and for approving of guys or a guy that i shouldn't be into or have feelings for. You know who i'm talking about. Thanks for giving me hugs. Thank you for always being there.. thank you for you. I will never be able to say thank you enough. I know right now that you are probably shaking your head saying "Wow Alexa..." But just shut up, okay? Because even though YOU might think you haven't done anything for me. You really have, so just accept that okay? I love you, bro.

Rude Boy by Rhiannnnnna

spring break..

goodbye.

=]

i loooove being able to sleep in all day.

it's so funny how you thought everything was gonna turn out this way but in reality it didn't.

sarah

sarah is home and now i am very happy.

John Legend.

It's so crystal clear now, that I need you here now, I'm gonna get you back today.

This time I want it all. I'm showing you all the cards. Giving you all my heart.

This time I'll take the chance. This time I'll be your man. I can be all you need.

This time is all of me.

No one.

No one, messes with my family, my friends or me. Ever.

something to look forward to.

Today already felt like summer. Laying outside never felt so good. I can't wait for this summer, i KNOW it's gonna be a good one.

John Legend is on replay, love him.

please.

SAT, ugh i hope i do well.


Can you just finally realize what has been infront of you this whole time?

Dear

I know that you want the best for me. I know that you want to be overprotective. No one wants to watch someone get their heartbroken, especially if that someone is their daughter. I know you always want the best for me and that you always look out for my own good. But maybe, the best for me, is really, just letting me go. Letting me grow up and learn my own experiences. Letting me live, letting me make mistakes, letting me learn on my own. I know you want to hold me and you don't want me to grow old and leave. It's part of life. I will always, always love you. No matter where life takes me and no matter what happens. Nothing will get between my love for you. You have taught me so much and everything that i know. You never cease to amaze me on a daily basis. I know that this will be hard, but if you really want the best for me, you need to let me go and let me put myself out there. I won't make stupid decisions, I promise. But if i fall and get heartbroken, its just a phase. This will happen over and over again, probably even more college. And you won't be there, so while you're here to comfort me, let me go, so that at the end of the day, no matter what happens, i can always come back home to you.

hahahaha made my work funny

Victor: "I'm a loser..."
Me: "No.. don't say that!"
Justin: "This is why he hangs with us, so that we can teach him and he'll be cool."
Me: "Yeah Victor you're not a loser, especially when you hang with these guys.. Oh wait you might be one though if you hang with Justin.."

Dylan, Larry, Victor, Fern: "HAHAHAH oohhh shiiiittt!!!"

I got high-fives all around. Sorry Justin!

Gossip Girl is so profound.

"In enough time eventually we all see what was right infront of us. And realize no matter how long it took it was worth the wait."

music to my ears.

john legend is so damn good.

ask me questions!

formspring.me/alexaohkay

today

today, was a pretty good day actually. A day i really needed to have.

you you you you you and you

YOU, ALL, NEED TO GROW UPPPPP!!!!!

la la la love.

i love days when Jane and i get to drive around and just have fun. It makes my day =]

people.

all people care about is putting others down to make themselves feel better.

well, i know for a FACT.

that i would rather have one true friend that i can trust, then a bunch of fake friends.

hmm

1. i la la la love my book. ;]
2. she likes you, she really does.
3. YOU GOT THIS GIRL. We're almost in college, just hold on.
4. JR CELSKI, i love you. haha
5. I do not know what to do about youuu. But then again, do i ever?
6. SAT is coming up, ahhhh.
7. i miss Sarah. I miss alot of 09 people. =/
8. School year is slowing down, no....
9. ha people can keep talkin trash, their opinions don't stop me.

i had to write this.

Nick Deleon was asked..

Personality or looks?

He said,"Personality .. looks will always be the bait.. but personality is the line that keeps pullin you in.."

Profound.

"In life, people tend to wait for good things to come to them. And by waiting, they miss out. Usually, what you wish for doesn't fall in your lap, it falls somewhere nearby, and you have to recognize it, stand up, and put in the time and work it takes to get it. This isn't because the universe is cruel. It's because the universe is smart. It has its own ___-___ theory and knows we don't appreciate things that fall into our laps."

JR Celski

JR, you are so fine. haha i could watch you speed skate all day + that Philippine flag tattoo on your chest, damn ;]

"even the wise man dwells in the fool's paradise. "

the game.

"If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten."

You can't stop the future.
You can't rewind the past
The only way to learn the secret ..is to press play.

someone close said this to me.

"i think you are perfect for him but i don't think he is perfect for you. i think you are what he needs, but not what he wants. he is what you want, not necessarily what need."

a big one.

a big earthquake is headin' our way, i can feel it. i'm scared "/

i believe

that things happen for a reason.

Dom & I.

We tend to wear our hearts, on our sleeves.

i love taylor swift.

"FEARLESS' is not the absense of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you've been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want all over again... even though every time you've tried before, you've lost. It's FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can't breathe without them. I think it's FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he's in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for the things they'll never stop doing, I think it's FEARLESS to stop believing them. It's FEARLESS to say "you're NOT sorry," and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourselfto cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright, that's FEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That's why I write these songs. Because I think love is FEARLESS."

on my mind.

1) i miss Sarah, ALOT. =/ spring break is too far away.
2) Jane, thanks for making me feel better in the little things you do.
3) SAT, i'm gonna kick your ass.
4) Just keep pushing through.
5) Hope girls win tonight.

theday

the day started off really well, then it turned bad as it progressed.

Good
1) Jane and I are going on the government trip. Si por Nueva York!
2) Thanks Dom for unknowingly making my day better. (He's all yours Jane, haha btw.)
3) Lunch was good, got my letterman for my leather jacket
4) Woahhh, earthquake? Sorry Timothy that the whole class thought it was you walking. HAHAHA!
5) I love working for Mr. Harter.
6) My class jacket looks so good!
7) Basketball game
8) Home sweet home.
Bad
1) ___ , i do so much for you. Can't you appreciate it, you just have to understand some times. Sorry though, don't mean to take it out on you!! i just need space in the middle of the month. HAHA
2) ____, why the hell would you do that? Do you have no sense? Why would you steal that from her?
3) ____, why would you cover your "friends" mistakes? He wronged you too and yet you think its okay?
4) __ _____, i really did not appreciate watching a stupid video i couldn't even see about Walt Whitman.
5) _____, sometimes you just don't understand me. Its like i get it, you want attention but sometimes i just don't want to talk to you, because i don't feel like talking to my guy friends.
6) ____, dude, just tell me straight up if you wanted to go hang out with your lover instead, i'm your friend, i understand. but don't ditch me and say "i'm in a gang" wtf is that?
7) ___ eleven years is a long time. but to me, you're just my friend. so don't relapse, cause i'm not gonna be there to pick you back up, .. as more than a friend anyways.
8) _____ , do you not know that plaid isn't black and it doesn't go with everything? HAHAH


i know Jane is gonna know all these people. hahahah i love that.

.

Is what i am hearing legit?

i hate

this time of the year, because everything tends to slow down.
school gets slower cause you just want it to end already.

can't wait til summer, government trip!!!

NEW YORK twice in 2 months!!! woooooooo ;]

=)

thank you Jane for being my valentine and for coming to my house to drop off a rose, chocolates and a note. Your note is so much better than some lame ass card cause you wrote it yoursself. i love you so much.

Happy Valentines Day =]

btw

i'm gonna be 18 in seven months! i am counting down. hahahaha

?

dude, why the hell would you do that?
sometimes you just don't think.
sometimes you just don't listen to others.
ugh, man. i really wanted to hang out with you and him.
fcccccckkkkkkkkkkk. You're suppose to make a good impression. Wow, you are so unbelievable

other than that.
chilling with Jane, Max, Joaquin, Marc, Dylan, Fern, Kyle, and Matt was alot of fun.
Wish Jon could have came. =/
Thanks guys.

=]

sleepover with my bfff, Jane Kwon!

hero.

i love you, mom.


Thank you, for all of your unconditional love. You do so much for me every single day. You always go the extra mile and you always go more than 212. You are amazing and i am so glad that God blessed me with you as my mom. You do so much for dad and me. I hope that someday i can give back to you and more, what you have given to me in my life. I thank God for you everyday. Thank you for your support in everything i choose to do. You are my backbone and i don't know what i would do without you in my life. Mostly, you are my mom and also my best friend. I thank you a million times for every single little thing and i thank you for your love. I love you, mom.

idiot.

i just had to write about this because i am so stupid. haha

left work, Mr. Harters room, and went home. Pulled up in the driveway, got out of the car and realized i didn't have my backpack. So i drove back to school and ran back to Mr. Harters room to see if Dee Dee was still there next door so that she could open the door for me. So while i was running my shoe came off and i kept running like ten feet before i realized i had no shoe and i turned around to get it and i almost tripped. So put back on my shoe and ran to her room so that she could open the door. She opened the door and there is my lovely backpack sitting on a desk.

good day.

10 things i hate about you. (movie)

"I hate the way you talk to me. And the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big dumb combat boots And the way you read my mind. I hate you so much it makes me sick. It even makes me rhyme.
I hate it... I hate the way you're always right. i hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh; Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call,

But mostly, I hate the way, I don't hate you;

Not even close; Not even a little bit; Not even at all."

"You want a key that can open every lock. But you don't want a lock, that can be opened by every key. "

-Chandler Yen.

thinking.

I just thought about everything that has happened the last few years and it just made me realize something, even though i have lost friends, i have also gained alot of new friends. Even though i have done bad things in the past, i learned from it. Even though i got grounded alot in the past, its almost been a year now of "ground free." Even though i have lost my parents trust in the past, i have restored it and now their trust in me is even stronger than before. I have learned from everything that has happened and from the things that i have done. Even though i've had some difficult months that i thought i would never survive, i did. Looking back on everything; the drama, the fighting, the misbehaving, the sneaking out, the partying.
i am thankful, because it helped me to become who i am today.
I learned that fighting with my parents would never get me anywhere and it definitely does not show how much appreciation i have for them. So now, i'm a whole different person. Fighting with my parents just isn't my thing. Yes, we do not always agree on the same thing but hey, i'm willing to swallow up my pride and just say sorry, because i love them. Wow just thinking about it, last year was a tough year but you know what? i learned self control from my experiences. i learned to be mature. i learned that partying isn't a life.
overall, i guess i finally learned to just, grow up.

-akf.

Head.

All these thoughts running in my head.

1. thank you for being you, i truly appreciate you.
2. both of you do so much for me, sorry for being a pain at times. i love you both.
3. why does puc have to be so far away? can't wait til spring break.
4. philippines, i miss it. why? because you are there. i miss you alot.
5. things are still not the same, getting better though. hope it only gets better from here.

pinsan

i miss you so much.

i hate that you live so far away.

i miss you, Philippines.

my goal.

1750+

come on Alexa, you got this.

bfff.

This made my week.

"10 reasons why you kick ass."

You wrote eleven [=

1. your straight up!

2. your fun to be around and you know how to have fun
3. you don't do something because someone else is you do it cuz you want to
4. your a good listener
5. when i come for advice you know exactly what to say
6. your not fake at all
7. you know whats good for me
8. you know what im thinking without me telling you
9. your always there when i need you and you don't ditch me for new friends
10. you always stand up for me when ppl are mean to me
11. you have all the qualities of a best friend

:] LOVE YOU! -Jane. & I love you too Jane, thank you.

meet my man.

shannon brown.

looks like we've got

rain.

This is my life in,

just a few more years...

beach house, dogs, longboarding, ocean, sunset.

fml.

why am i such an ass?

asdfjkl;asdfjkasld;fasjdfkalsd;flakjsdflajsdlf;kj

i just want to scream.

i cried, i can't believe myself.

i'm crying, i can't believe myself, again.

i'm sorry, i am really really sorry.

Babyyyy

You know you love me

I know you care

And I would never, not be there

You are my love

You are my heart

And we would never, ever, ever be apart

Are we an item?
Girl quit playin'
We're just friends,
What are you sayin'
Take another look right in my eyes
My first love, touch my heart for the first time

And now I'm like Baby, baby, baby noo

I'm like Baby, baby, baby noo

I'm like Baby, baby, baby noo

I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

For you, I would have done whatever

And ya stick it with me when we're together

And I'm gonn' play it cool While I'm losin you

I'll buy you anything

I'll buy you any ring

Cause I'm in pieces

Baby fix me

Come see if you wake me from this bad dream

I'm goin down, down, down

Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like Baby, baby, baby noo
I'm like Baby, baby, baby noo
I thought you'd always be mine (mine)

You can give me all of your love

Once a time it wont be enough

Nobody told me this day would come

Now I'm all gone

You can give me all of your love

Once a time it wont be enough

Nobody told me this day would come

I wa- I was like Baby, baby, baby noo

I'm like Baby, baby, baby noo

I'm like Baby, baby, baby noo

I thought you'd always be mine (mine).

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

the whole situation makes me laugh so hard.

mhmmm.

Nate, i totally understand you, more than one million percent.

Jane, thank you for everything.

Sarah, i miss your face.

God, i love you.

You.

I wish that you could see how much you really deserve. You deserve better than her and you need to let it go. 3 years man? I know that is a really long time and it is going to be a long process but you have to start. There are so many people out there. You have to let yourself be open to meeting them. You are so afraid that you are going to be lonely if you don't stick to who you are stuck on, but the fact is, you are going to be lonely if you don't let yourself let go on the person you are currently stuck on. I can't even explain to you how much you deserve and how amazing you are. I hope that you would just have confidence in yourself. She isn't treating your right, you know that, i know that, we all know that. So don't keep putting up with it. If she finally likes you sooner or later then you'll just have to face that when the time comes but til then don't keep hanging on to her. Like i told you today, like some genius person told me coming back from bible camp (but for you, its her instead of him). "The reason you can't get over him is because you think that he is the best you can get, when i know you can do so much better." Larry was right, and so i'm giving you the same advice. You can do so much better because honestly, you can. You need someone who appreciates for you and who won't take you for granted. You need someone who won't leave you anytime they feel like it then come crawling back to you when things don't go their way. Trust me, it will be a long process but you can do this. You know you can do this, i know you can do this, we all know you can do this and we all have your back. You know i am always here for you whenever you need, just text or call me. Or if you see me at school just call out my name and i'll drop whatever i am doing. You deserve someone who is completely compatible with you and won't keep you in the "friend zone." because any girl would be lucky have you by her side.

Busy busy busy

i love being busy, it keeps my mind off of things.

But then again, relaxing is just as nice.

This is my life:

SA Resource Manager officer.

Honors National Society Member.

TOMS club member.

Volleyball, when in season.

SAT class.

TA worker.

Homework.

Band, can't wait for NY trip!

Volunteer service worker.

So much to do and the time is flying.

This made my day.

Ms. Phillips: "You need to buy the compatibility test on monday from me."

Me: Why?

"Because you are the most compatible girl in the whole highschool."

Seriously?

"Yeah, I was looking through all of the guys' papers and you are on almost all of them."

Really?

"Yeah, that's why you have to buy it so we can see who your number one is."

Uh oh.

I love my family.

Just some Questions.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I would probably be seventeen, i love my age.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?
Never trying, because you if you atleast try, even though there is a chance that you may fail there is also a chance that you may succeed. So what do you think? Would you rather have a chance of succeeding or not trying at all.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
Very good question. I think it's because we take things for granted and we think that we have so much time to do what we want later. Why? Lets do what we love now.

When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
Not neccessarily. But to me, i do what i say i'm going to do.

What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
I would want to change the mindset of those who believe that killing others is good, because honestly, its not.

If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
The work that has to do with spending time with those who i love the most and helping those in need.

If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
Even though we learned from a mistake it doesn't mean that that mistake didn't cause hardship or even a broken heart. One doesn't want to go back to what they faced after making a mistake thats why we often try to not make another one.

What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
I would take more risks and go on more adventures.

When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
Just now.

What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
I love the people and things that make me truly happy, such as God, family and friends.
Yes, i always show those who i care about how much i love them.

Thank You God.

I love you both.

Thank you for everything that you both do.

You mean the world to me.

I don't know what i would do without

either of you in my life. You both keep

me sane. You both understand me when no one else does. You both always have my back and you both never leave me. I appreciate both of you and i appreciate everything that you both have done for me, are doing, and will do. From the bottom of my heart, i can't even put into words to express how thankful to God i am that he brought you into my life Jane and that you, Sarah are my cousin. I am so blessed to be able to share my life

with both of you. You both are my sisters and i love how i can come to both of you for any problems or situations i am in or i have. You both are absolutely amazing.

Sarah, I miss you SO much. I wish you were here because i really need you. I can't wait to see you love. Jane, Thank you for being an amazing best friend. I have more than 1000% of trust in you. You are a sister to me and my parents already consider you another daughter along with Sarah and me. Both of you,

I love you both so much, i can't even begin or put into words how much you honestly,

mean to me. Thank you for giving your friendship and love.

love drunk.

"I used to be love drunk, but now I'm hungover. I love you forever, but now I'm sober.

...So don't call me crying, say hello then goodbye."

Hello,

You seriously make me want t0 ____. I can't ____ my ____ _____ would do this to me. How could ____? Don't ___ even ____? We ___ to __ so ____. But ___ everything is ___. I ____ the ____ _____ were. We ___ to laugh and ___ some good _____. We always had each ____ _____. But i guess ____ ______. I've _____ you for ____ _____. And you've only ____ ____ for ____ _____. Why couldn't ____ just ____ ____ to ____. I don't even know what to say, i am left speechless.

I'm not giving in.

Goodbye.

This goes out to YOU.

You are one of the best guys at school. All of us support you more than 1000%. We are here for you and we have SO much confidence in you, you just have to have more confidence in yourself. Look at what you did at Bible camp, think about it. If we would've went 2 years ago or even a year ago would you have gone out like you did up there? No, you probably would've hidden your amazing talent. You are so good and we all know it, you just have to know that you are awesome, yourself.

Like i told you today, you have to begin with yourself. You have to know what you want for yourself. If she is really the one that you want then you should go for her, but you should be sure first, don't be unsure then sure. If you say that she is the same as you like she likes you sometimes then doesn't, then for sure you can't be the same too. You have to know what YOU want. It's not good to have both people unsure about what they want, how are you going to get anywhere with that? If you enjoy being around her and she makes you truly happy then definitely, go for it. You deserve THE BEST and only the best. You know how to treat girls well and now it's your turn to find someone who will treat you the same or even better, because again, that's what you deserve, the best. You have an amazing personality and any girl would be lucky to even get a chance to hang out with you let alone go out with you. She just go with your heart and your mind. Just go with what you are feeling and what you really want, if she is what you really want, then don't deprive your heart the happiness it deserves. But like you told me "You have to separate the logical side from the emotional side."

Last of all, you have your friends for support, including me. If you ever need anything like if you want to vent or even just talk about it then know that i am here for you. Like i said before and like i will say a million times more just so you will get this in your head, You are an amazing guy. I can't even put into words how amazing you are and how i am so thankful that you are on of my friends. I know we joke around alot and sometimes we are mean to each other but i know that in the end i can always come to you for advice or anything and i thank you.

You are the best guy. No one even compares to you. This goes out to YOU.

oh.

ya ya ya ya ya.

Dude, i miss Bible camp so much. It was so worth it. I never got to write about it, so i'll write about it now. It was an amazing experience. I definitely feel that God is closer to me. I guess that i got the Jesus high? You could say. Meeting new people and making new friendships was tons of fun. The snow was so amazing even though i slipped and fell a bunch of times. I still absolutely loved it. It was so great to get out of this routine of school, work, home. Just getting out and hanging out with new people not just the same old crowd. I definitely feel closer to God, like super close and i hope that this feeling doesn't go away. <3 I am for sure going back again next year, as a leader.

Travel.

i miss traveling. Even though i just came back from the Philippines, i miss it so much. I love getting away from all of the crazy madness that goes on here.

I've been to:

About 30 of the states in the U.S.

Italy
France
Germany
Switzerland
China
Philippines<3
Canada
Mexico

Can't wait til i go to:

Korea and Japan! So exciteddd!

after all this time

how ayl wms bm rfgq rm kc? g yk ql dsaigle mgqqcb yr you.

"Some people are meant to stay in your life forever. Others are just meant to make an appearance."

I guess you were just meant to make an appearance. That is too
bad because I am really gonna miss you in my life.

Just like the other one, you didn't care enough about our friendship to save it. I definitely know, that you know, that your reasoning for it, isn't right. I've thought of you as friend for a long time now, so i have no idea why you said what you said. I honestly can't believe you, you make me want to cry.

Good friend.

"If you are going to put the fire out then put it out.

If you are going to keep the fire lit then keep it lit.
But don't try and keep the fire burning by trying to save some coals for later.
You just have to close the lid on it."

Greg Lai

Not even.

Wow, i didn't even say a word. All i did was write in my blog about my business and you read it and decided to comment on it and tell me what i should do when you don't even know me at all. So actually i didn't do anything. But whatever, lets just not talk about it or comment about it anymore, it's a waste of time.

miss this.

This is what i really miss...

Just being with family, being away from the country, from california, from reality, from the people that love and hurt you the most.

Soundtrack 2 My Life.

"I've got some issues that nobody can see, and all of these
emotions are pourin' outta me, I bring them to the

light for you, it's only right this

is the soundtrack to my life."

-Kid Cudi.

Thank you.

"Not only do you deserve to have someone that will tell you they're changing targets, but you deserve someone even better--you deserve someone that won't change targets.You deserve someone that will love you unconditionally and will treat you with nothing but the utmost respect. He'll hold the door open just so that his eyes never leave you. He'll take the long route just because it means he gets to hold your hand that much longer. He'll wake up with you as his first thought and he'll sleep with you as his last thought, all the while dreaming about the next time he gets to see you. He'll never have a bad day if he sees you because you make him happy. He'll brush his teeth eight times a day to make sure his teeth are white, because he can't help but smile whenever he sees you. He'll feel his heart race just at the thought of spending time with you, and he'll leave all his friends if it means he gets to be alone with you. He'll want to eat at popular restaurants just so that he can show as many people as possible that he has a beautiful girl on his arm. And he'll stay up late thinking about you, and everything you've done for him, and just how wonderful his life is because you're a part of it.You deserve someone like that, Alexa."

"You're not a sidenote, Alexa. And you're not the caption. You're the headline."

Thank you, Nathaniel Morlock.

People say all these mixed versions of this to me. But you said it straight up. This is exactly what i needed to hear.

I appreciate you.

It's hard waiting around for something that you know might never happen,
but it's even harder to give up especially when its everything you ever wanted.

Haven't we all been through this before?

"I've never told anyone that before." -Summer

"I guess i'm just not anybody." -Tom

(500) Days of Summer.

I can't get over that movie.

College.

i am so sick, of the same usual stuff that goes on. Day after day after day. Nothing is new. Some things come up, some things are fun. I do admit i have some pretty awesome times. But i want a change. I want more things that are unexpected. I can't wait til college and all the new things that will be happening. I'll be free to do whatever i want, not that i will take advantage of that, but it's still nice to know i can go out wherever and see whoever, whenever. I can't wait for the feeling of new challenges. New teachers. New faces. New relationships. New guys. I'm sick of the guys here, none of them are different. Atleast none of them have showed me that they are different from the previous one. I need someone new, someone who's actually good for me. These are just a few reasons why i am so excited for college. Of course i will miss my friends, I'll still be seeing them around. I already got my roommate ;]

No one knows what love really is.

i love this movie.

(500) Days of Summer.

A New Year.

So its time to start fresh right? Wrong.
Just because its a new year, it doesn't mean that the same people don't fall into the same patterns and habits they had the year before, and the year before that. Just because its a new year it doesn't mean that your brain is gonna click and be like "alright, now i'm changing." Why do you have to wait for a new year to come? Why don't you just change ....

now.

So for me i'm changing.

1. I'm sorry, i was wrong. It was stupid.

2. I am over YOU. haha i feel so happy to say it.

3. Thank you family, for everything.

4. Jane, love youuu.